maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
