we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
