Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
