Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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