we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
