Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
