i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
