Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
