There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
