I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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