This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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