So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
