i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
