Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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