some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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