Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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