Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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