Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am naked and annoyed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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