Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
