uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
