She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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