Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
