I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
