Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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