we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How external is "for external use only"?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
jump out the window naked night went bad
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