Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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