ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
