My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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