That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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