Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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