I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've blown a few things in my day
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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