New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
