for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
