So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
