wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
