I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
