I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Randomize
