You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she looked like the before picture.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
