omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
