I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
