i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You may now shotgun with the bride
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
