that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
