you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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