it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i think my mom watched the whole time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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