we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
