I must be too annoying 4 u.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
