Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
