"it" just moved
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
