so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
why do cheetos always look like penises
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
