My nipple is on Facebook.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
